It's HARD!!!!!!!!! HARD HARD HARD I actually feel like I'm being punished for all the bad things I ever done in my life right now haha I am not kidding.
I'm exhausted. How do you even get to enjoy life and your sweet growing baby when as soon as you walk in the door from being at work all day it's go go go! cooking dinner, eating, bathing the baby, bathing yourself, cleaning up (which I hardly do! My house is a disaster) getting everything ready for the next day.... and trying to fit in life in between even relaxing time, tv time forget that! My little one doesn't have the best sleep patterns. Going into work sleep deprived makes a very grumpy me. Then I look at our own schedules, and it's never the same 2 days in a row, I don't blame him for the sleep patterns he has, I blame us for not having a consistent life or routine.
I've been trying to let go... let go of having a messy house, who cares right. Let go of the laundry piled up, clean clothes in baskets for weeks... not a big deal. Another thing that is hard to get control of is eating healthy... I'm trying hard to keep it going for baby K, I don't want him eating junk food but life is busy and the Mcdonalds drive through for nuggets is convenient some nights :( And me, I won't even go there! I think I've been eating the worst I ever have! I don't have the time to even think about what I want for lunch the next day when I can barely see straight or have the time. And the stress of my job is on high the past couple weeks, going for interviews not knowing what the outcome will be. DH has a demanding job too so both our stress levels have been high. It's not fun.
I have a new respect for moms... we do it all... Men, haven't got a CLUE!
I wrote a post on the happiness project last week. But I can't even imagine how to change anything in my life right now when I'm struggling to get through my day and my main focus above all is to spend whatever time I have playing and teaching my son a few things, before I blink my eyes and he's 20! Sigh!
I don't usually use my blog to vent all my problems (only when I get totally overwhelmed which has been a lot this year) I try to keep it light and focused on the more positive aspects of our life... but right now... I'm not that positive. I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm feeling exhausted, guilty, frustrated, hopeless. If I could just cry all day I would! Trying to focus on the good things in my life like watching baby K play at daycare. He has so much fun. I know he is happy and healthy and that is the most important thing. It's been 3 weeks and I still do not have a grasp of being a working mom at all, and I miss my baby boy so much every day :(
Does your day to day get overwhelming some times?
Your schedule sounds so hectic, I can't even imagine trying to keep up with all of that! I feel for you! I have some friends who like you, both work full time and have a child. They have to keep their life very organized and have a very strict routine... Saturday is their cleaning day, Sunday is their grocery shopping day. And hey, nothing wrong with McDonalds drive thru sometimes if it helps you keep your sanity!
ReplyDeleteHopefully you will all get used to your new routine and it will get easier for you. My suggestion to you would to drink plenty of coffee! ;)
You are already doing your best hun. Don't feel guilty! I know life can be hard sometimes, deep breath, look at the pics of Kris, you will know you are not alone! xoxoxo
ReplyDelete